


I Almost Do

by mackwill99



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Civil War (Marvel), Fluff and Angst, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony, M/M, Mild Smut, Song Lyrics, Song: I Almost Do (Taylor Swift), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 10:16:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18689467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mackwill99/pseuds/mackwill99
Summary: Tony and Steve were dating before Civil War but broke up during. Using Taylor Swift's song I Almost Do it follows their grief following the break-up. (Post Civil War, Pre Infinity War)





	I Almost Do

**_"I bet this time of night you’re still up. I bet you’re tired from a long hard week. I bet you’re sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city. And I bet sometimes you wonder about me."_ **

Steve was awake. It was three am and he was still awake. Ever since he and Tony had gotten into that stupid fight over the Sokovia agreement and Bucky he hadn’t been able to sleep much. _Tony._ That was all that was on his mind. He knew he’d still be awake, Tony didn’t ever go to bed until at least 5 am. He knew he’d be sitting in his workshop, tinkering with something, looking out of the window at the city they had saved so many times before. All Steve could hope was that Tony would be thinking of him in the same way.

 

**_I bet you think I either moved on or hate you. ‘Cause each time you reach out there’s no reply. I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can’t say “Hello” to you and risk another goodbye._**

 

Tony couldn’t stop thinking about Steve. About his bright blue eyes, about his blonde hair that always seemed to fall perfectly. About how the larger man held him closely on the nights where all he could think about was all he had lost. But now when he thought about what he had lost, Steve was there too. He knew he couldn’t call. He knew what they had was done. He had been the one to call it off. Steve knew that Bucky had killed his parents. _Steve knew._ Yet Steve still picked Bucky. Tony should hate Steve. But he couldn’t. He loved Steve, he always would. But he was too damn stubborn and too damn scared to go back to him. He had gotten his letters, his calls but how could he go back to the man that had hurt him so damn much.

 

**_And I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don’t I almost do, I almost do._ **

 

Steve tried not to call him. He did. He knew Tony needed space. Yet every night he found himself clutching the flip phone Tony had given him and punching in the number he had memorized, never pressing dial. He fell asleep every night with the phone in one hand and Tony’s worn Metallica shirt in the other. The shirt used to smell like him, but now it just smelled like the tears Steve had poured into it night after night.

 

**_Oh, we made quite a mess, babe. It’s probably better off this way. And I confess babe, in my dreams you’re touching my face and asking me if I wanna try again with you. And I almost do._ **

 

Tony thought of all the damage they had caused. Because of them, Rhodey was paralyzed. Because of them, the team had been forced to pick sides. Tony had been forced to put his friends under house arrest. They had ruined everything. Tony wished he could go back to when he and Steve were happy. When Steve would surprise him with flowers because he had seen an old lady selling them when he was in town. Or when Steve would make him dinner when he knew the genius hadn't eaten all day because he was too busy making sure Steve’s suit was perfect. Or when Steve would lay him down in bed and kiss every inch of his body, small compared to Steve’s larger one. When Steve would take him, leaving his mark, filling him up. And how Steve always made sure to run Tony a warm shower afterwards, kissing him gently as he cleaned the smaller man off and tucked him into bed, holding him tightly. Tony longed for that. For Steve’s touch. For Steve. So much so that he almost forgot about all he had done. Almost.

 

**_Oh, we made quite a mess, babe. It’s probably better off this way. And I confess babe, in my dreams you’re touching my face and asking me if I wanna try again with you. And I almost do._ **

 

Steve held Tony’s small face in his hands, pulling him in for a deep passionate kiss. 

 

“I love you Cap” Tony muttered as he pulled away for air.

 

“I love you too Stark.” 

 

Steve faded into the kiss, they were now walking through Brooklyn, hand in hand. Steve was showing where he had once lived. It was cold. Steve noticed Tony shivering. Steve took off his jacket and placed it around the younger man’s shoulders. 

 

“I told you ya should have worn a coat” Steve laughed looking down at Tony. 

 

“Shut up Rogers” Tony snarked as he pressed his lips against Steve’s. 

 

Steve opened his eyes to see Tony’s looking back up at him, filled with lust and desire. He looked down at Tony’s naked body beneath him, the dark-haired man squirming beneath him. 

 

“Please Steve, I need you.” he whimpered. 

 

Steve was suddenly holding Tony’s sleeping body as he twitched and whined. Steve realized Tony was having a nightmare. 

 

“Shhhh Tones, I’ve got you. You’re safe.” Steve held him tighter rocking him back and forth, comforting him as he slept. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.” 

 

Steve woke up covered in his own sweat, clawing at the empty sheets beside him, sighing as he realized it was all dream, Tony wasn’t next to him and probably would never be again.

 

**_And I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don’t I almost do, I almost do._ **

 

Tony was drunk. He had stopped drinking years ago. He had gone years without so much as looking at alcohol yet here he was; drunk. He stumbled into his bathroom and his foot caught on the bath mat, sending him tumbling to the ground. 

 

He opened his eyes and felt the pain in his head. He had hit his head off the toilet, he groaned as he pulled himself to his feet and held himself up on the sink. 

 

“Rhodey’s gonna kill me” he mumbled to his drunk reflection in the mirror, blood pouring out of the fresh cut on his forehead. He winced as he put his hand to the gash. He knew he needed stitches. He couldn’t call Rhodey or Pepper or Happy or Natasha or Bruce. He’d been sober for so long, they’d just be disappointed. He knew who he could call. If he’d just put his damn ego aside he could call him. But even with the whiskey pulsing through his veins he knew that was a bad idea. He missed him. He missed the way he smelt. The way his shirts always clung too tight to his muscular body. He missed his laugh that engulfed his entire body, filling whatever room he was in. He missed his lips, soft, plump. He missed the way he’d lift him up when they kissed, pulling him off his feet. He missed everything about him. 

 

“Fuck it.” Tony pawed at his phone scrolling until he saw his name. He clicked on the contact titled _Capsicle_ and hovered his finger over the call button. Just as his finger was about to press the button there was a knock at the door.

 

“Stark? You okay I heard a bang” Natasha’s voice came from the other side of the door, Tony didn’t reply, he had just noticed the lump of tears that had been forming in his throat. “Tony I’m coming in.”

 

Natasha opened the door to see Tony standing in front of her with blood pouring down his forehead and his eyes filled with tears. She could smell the alcohol on him. She looked down at his hands and saw the phone, Steve’s contact lighting up the screen. She took him into her arms, taking the phone out of his hand. 

 

“Oh Tony,” she sighed. “let's get you down to the med bay.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this is my first work since my 1D wattpad days (like 2014 yikes). pls stay tuned cause I have so many fics planned!!!


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